The
fraternity house was on the very edge of
campus near an overgrown patch of woods that
hid the narrow, winding, treacherous drive
that was once the main road on to the college
grounds. (It had since been abandoned due to
the dangerous propensity for speed among
young students, and the stubborn,
immovability of hulking boulders that fell
onto it from the hillsides.) The house stood
regal and yet looked almost overcome and
defeated by the surrounding trees. As if at
any moment the vines and roots of those
withered giants would wrap around and drag
the old fraternity into the dark netherness
that secret old places have always held.
During
the school year the house was a lively place
and looked proud and unique among the other
more conventional Greek houses on campus. The
trees behind and around, too, served a
purpose in the eyes and hearts and groins of
the brethren. The old arbors and the air that
surrounded them were known to smell very
relaxing anywhere from midnight till dawn.
Needless to say the woods allowed ample cover
for ne'er-do-wells and the rest of us to play
the way we do under dark. A guy could get
away with a lot living so far from the heart
of campus. Wants and needs of the more carnal
kind could be easily obtained.
School
was out for the summer, though, and the house
appeared saddened and alone when I first saw
it. The vitality given to it by the students
who had lived there had been sucked away. The
fraternity looked weary of the trees that
reached at it with their crooked, knotted
limbs. Clearly, it was going to be a heavy
task for Cat and I; to bring life back into
the old house as we cared for it for the
season. Our pay was free room and all the
left-overs in the kitchen. Of course, we had
other jobs on the side.
The
weather was muggy and oppressive. Sweat
dripped from us like molasses as we worked
that first day on our living arrangements. We
brought all the fans we could find in the
house (those left behind by the brothers) and
assembled them in the house director's room
where we were staying. There was no air
conditioning. The brothers house money was
spent instead on parties and pledge events.
That
night, after all had been moved in or about,
Cat and I laid siege to his room in
hedonistic abandon. Everything had been done
earlier that was, in the slightest, a
responsible act or could construed as such. I
had worked at the fitness center till noon,
done my workout, then my cherished dusk-light
jog with Cat. He, for his part, had gone into
town and rented some movies and purchased
anything that might be needed, which included
bottle of gin.
We
began drinking early. It was still very hot
in the room. All the fans were aimed at us.
The sound of them was such that we had the
volume on the tv turned up almost as far as
it would go. Still, though, we perspired.
Colleges in river valleys are extremely
humid.
Cat sat
on a recliner with one leg stretched over one
of the arms of the chair. He had stripped
down to his tight briefs. (A cute boy in his
underwear. If there's anything better, I
don't know of it.) He held a tall paper cup
of 7up and gin, as did I.
"This
is sweet," Cat said in an lazy tone.
"Ain't this sweet? Just us. None of
those wise-acres to jump around and
holler."
"Yep,"
I agreed. "It's the simple stuff. I
mean, who needs it."
"Needs
what?" he took a large gulp from his
drink.
"All
that ... crap," I said gesturing to the
tv as it flashed random images. Things
neither of us might ever be able to afford.
"Nobody needs all that." I could
feel the slightest effect of alcohol on my
senses already.
"Who
can afford it?" he retorted. "I
need gin, a good baseball game, and I need a
fan when it's hot-"
"Lots
of 'em," I interrupted.
"But,
you're right. Who needs the rest." He
said it lightly. Almost too light for the
sound of the army of fans.
"The
rest of the guys in the house seem to like
their little gadgets," I said. I had
seen their mp3 players and ipods scattered
about; left behind as if they had cost
nothing at all.
"Yeah.
But they probably didn't have to buy those.
Most the guys in the house are better off
than me."
"I
wouldn't say they were better off," I
said, sensing the tinge of want in his voice.
Cat
looked at me and smiled. "No. You're
right again. But they have more money and
that makes things easier I suppose." He
strummed a hand down his sweaty abdomen
wiping away some bug or sweat bead. "My
daddy never had nothin' and he turned out
fine. Worked his ass off to get me
here."
I
wanted to say 'me too,' but the truth was
quite different. My father had died before
college had ever entered my mind. And
besides, his religious inclinations would
have been against socializing with the world
outside of where I had grown up; where I had
escaped from. Maybe I would share that tale
with him some day... but not that day.
We left
the lights off as it grew darker with just
the tv to illuminate our surroundings. The
night came on like a thick woolen blanket.
The heat never let up. But we had our fans
and I enjoyed hanging out in my underwear
with Cat. It was as close to being intimate
with him I had ever been. We drank gin,
watched movies, and sang along to music from
the assorted CDs that had been left by the
house director for the summer. When Cat
slipped in Ricky Martin we both got up and
did our best at dancing, though neither of us
had anything resembling rhythm. It was simply
a chance to let loose into the summer night.
Me in my blue boxers and Cat in his
tighty-whiteys shaking our butts (Cat having
the more considerable booty to shake being
that he was a ball player). It was a keen
moment of excitement for me when my hand
"accidentally" brushed his ass.
We then
collapsed into our chairs and welcomed the
wind-makers on high. Dancing was fun but, in
this heat, hard work.
After a
while things started to get a little hazy for
the both of us. Gin, the Green Fairy, took
complete control of our faculties. I could
see Cat almost drifting off. It was a sweet
sight; innocent.
"Man,
I'm gonna crash," he slurred.
Like a
child being told to get to bed, Cat rose from
his chair a little hesitantly. The alcohol
had impaired him tremendously. Realizing, I
suppose, that his bed, which was a high bunk,
was not a remote possibility that night, he
slowly felt his way to the carpet at my feet.
The fans surrounded him like watchmen or tiny
windmills. There he curled up in the fetal
position. The itchiness of the carpet didn't
seem to bother him at all.
I did
not wait for an invitation. He looked too
precious. I rose from my own seat as best I
could, turned off the tv, and descended to
the carpet as well. There wasn't even a
thought of hesitation as I pushed my body
against Cat's clammy back, spooning as if we
were two boys on a camping trip in the back
yard and huddling to keep warm. Our bodies
were sticky, but this was no discomfort to
me. I felt my own heated breath on his
shoulders; soft, tanned, strong shoulders. It
would have been a perfect moment if not for
the damned gin muddling things up. It was as
romantic a thing as I could have imagined. My
arms wrapped around him slowly and my fingers
strummed his abs. It was an exact moment.
Precise and sharp as blades.
"What
do you want from this?"he said,
startling me as he broke the silence. I
thought he had already fallen asleep.
"From this life, I mean. What do you
want to get from it?"
I was a
little relieved that he had restated the
question. At first I had assumed he meant to
know what I wanted from him at the moment,
with my arms enveloped around him and the
hardness he now surely felt pressing against
his backside. I was readying to loosen my
grip and shrivel away like a salted slug
before he asked the question again more
clearly.
"I
don't know. I want a lot of things I guess.
Too many things. Mostly things that don't
matter." I stopped. Material things,
contraptions and gadgets, popped into my head
like those I had seen earlier on tv. But was
that the answer? The real answer? "When
it comes down to it I guess I want to be
content like everyone. Why? What do you
want?"
"Two
things. I only want two things from
life," he said. "I want to travel,
and I don't want to die alone."
He was
drifting off to sleep from the tone in his
whispering voice. But his quiet proclamation
had awoken me a little. I raised my head so I
could more clearly see the side of his face
shaded by night shadows. He was peaceful and
beautiful. What he said had made me look on
him differently, though. I had been shown an
inside look at the miracle. He had given me
an insight into his fears. I was moved almost
to the point of tears.
"You're
not going to die alone, Cat," I assured
him. "That will never happen. You're
going to live forever, and I'll-" but I
stopped there and swallowed my thoughts. I'll
tell him some other night... but not tonight.
"As
far as traveling, there's a course in Italy
next spring term," I whispered.
"Maybe we should look into it."
"Today
was a good first day, huh?" he
whispered. "A great first day of
summer."
I could
have replied but he wouldn't have heard. He
was asleep. So instead I stole a kiss from
behind his ear.
I
rested my head back down on the carpet and I
breathed once again, happily, on Cat's smooth
shoulder. There were so many things I wanted
to say to him, and for the first time it
looked as if he might understand. I wanted to
explode my secrets all over him. But I kept
those words for later. At the moment, for as
long as I could keep my drunk eyes open, I
would enjoy the feel of him in my arms. With
my heart racing, I hugged at him like a
pillow. Full of excitement at the possibility
of being with him, my dick rested hard
against his firm bubble-butt and, to my later
chagrin, I fell to sleep.
Everything
I had to tell him, all my wishes, had to wait
until morning... or some other day. Maybe
later in the summer. Yes. Later. That would
be best.
